While I was in line at Sports Authority the other day, this girl was shopping behind me, talking to her friend, and then out of nowhere I hear a splash and, "Oh my god, I just puked." I looked back and there she was, bent over with her arms out for about 5 seconds, looking at her puke in disbelief. It was all watery with white chucks in it. These two Asian kids behind me were trying not to laugh. I felt bad for the girl. She was talking casually, like anyone else, and then BAM! puke out of nowhere. Sports Authority staff were getting some stuff to clean it up, and the girl went off shopping. Then I noticed something out of the corner of my eye and this black lady walked right through the puke without seeing it. I mentioned said fact to the Asian kids and one of them commented, "That is fucking disgusting." We had a hearty, interracial laugh.

This man is badass:



I have started a 12-month weight-lifting program. The first 6 months I'm going to focus on gaining hella muscle mass. I work out 3 times a week in the mornings and eat every 3 hours. I may or may not use this as an excuse to go all carte blanche on food. It's hard for me to gain weight if I'm working out regularly. The second 6 months are focused on losing body fat.

I want traps like Wanderlei Silva. I want to be Wanderlei Silva. I want to cut off his skin and wear it like a dress. Wanderlei for president 2012.

I called in sick today for the first time, because I am sick. I am looking at Wikipedia, hitting the random-article button until I find something interesting. Some of this shit is crazy obscure, like an oasis on the other side of the world, for instance.

No idea why I made a blog.